Why Did You Change?
by Sassy Ass Len
Summary: Izaya's memories are haunting him. And he just can't shake them off. And a sudden feeling wells right before he is removed from the world. Rated M for character death. ( There is a lot of headcanon in this too; but it's mainly canon-like. )


I poured my heart and soul into this songfic oneshot. Please enjoy!

Song: Structure  
Artist: Innerpartysystem

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**Why did you change?**

What happened? Izaya stumbled out of his bed; wearing only his underwear and a half-unbuttoned pajama shirt. He felt like he was hungover; but he didn't drink. So why...?

Aa. That was the reason.

**Why did you bend and break?**

His memories of elementary school had come washing back; just like his dream. He swore he cast away all dreaming. But why...?

**When the water turns to wine...**

Groaning, he went to the bathroom and popped a few ibuprofen, before washing his face. He saw a child's version of him over his shoulder. Looking back frantically...

**Did it feel the same?**

Izaya realized no one was there. Panting in his franticism; Izaya clutched his head and closed his eyes tightly. Letting out a slow, steady laugh, he gripped the sink. No one realized how he was; when alone and haunted.

**Why did you change? Why did you bend and break? When the water turned to wine, it never...**

Sitting atop a roof and watching a fight below; he swore he saw a tiny version of himself. A childhood memory. Hadn't he played in that same alleyway? … The brawl seemed insignificant; if even depressing, now.

**You suck the bottle dry, touch fingers to the night...**

Sucking down the last drops of a bottle of water; the ravenette watched people walking out and into the building as he sat in the darkest corner of the cafe. No one bothered him and he bothered no one. Izaya stared down at one of his ten cell phones; wondering if anyone would call.

For information or just to...

Talk.

**Feels like I've been here before...**

Had he? He couldn't remember. The cafe seemed so familiar. Even the workers. Oh yes; that was right. He'd gone there with Shinra and Kyohei; and the two had dragged Shizuo along. He could remember having ran through the kitchen to avoid Shizuo's throwing after having flung a blob of creme from his parfait at his cheek. Izaya smiled faintly at the memory; not registering the wetness on his cheeks.

Finally feeling it; he wiped it away and closed his eyes. Anything to not feel more tears slide down his cheeks from his crimson eyes. Sighing; he got up and paid, not eating anything.

**Now there's an empty hole where you were long ago.  
But things are different when you're young.**

Walking down the alley streets of Ikebukuro; a familiar voice resounded, which actually was peace to Izaya's ears.

"Izayaaaaaaa-kuuuuuuuuuuun!" The voice of the Heiwajima rang through the Orihara's ears. This time, Shizuo wasn't reaching for anything; fingers soon wrapping around the pale neck of Izaya.

"Hey... Shizu-chan."

The simple nickname seemed to piss him off further; his fingers tightening slightly. If this was how Izaya was meant to die; it was worth it... Right?

"What the hell did you frame me for this time!?"

"For once... Nothing. Hey, Shizu-chan..."

The grip lessened slightly. "What do you want, flea?"

"Remember that poetry test in Japanese literature in high school?"

"What damn test; idiot?"

"... The one in our last year?"

The memory came back slowly to Shizuo; dawning on him the conversation of that day.

"Oh... That one." His grip loosened completely; and unexpectedly, Izaya did not dash for safety.

"We were fighting; just like now... Sort of. And I told you the translation of that one poem up on the rooftop. Remember?"

Shizuo must have, because the translation came fluidly out of his mouth; slowly and almost... Stunted.

"_The sunshine is bright and warm on my skin..._"

"_But I'll invite the cold moon again. The moon is cool beauty; while the sun is fiery passion._"

Izaya finished for him; before looking up.

Did the hole just fill itself? That hole that had been bugging him all day; was it just filled? He then remembered the meaning of the poem.

_Love._

Something Izaya swore he'd never feel for another human being alone; only for the entire human race.

"... Shizu-chan..." Without thinking; pale pink touched dusty rose in a connection of lips, his crimson eyes shutting tightly to the world. Peach colored hands wrapped around his neck in both shock and anger; the pale man not resisting. Opening those crimson eyes to give a sharp, clear look at the false-blonde; he whispered words he thought he'd never dare say to anyone else on the planet.

"I love you... I really do. Even if you kill me, right here, right now... I found out what has been bothering me. It was hidden... Until now. I love you more than I love humans; Heiwajima Shizuo." No more Shizu-chan from Izaya.

No more words were spoken. A few tears slipped down his face; a gentle smile upon pale pink lips. The false-blonde pressed harder on his neck; pissed beyond recognition. Letting go; he realized it was already too late to reveal his feelings as well.

Izaya hadn't been able to breathe after a while; and subsequently passed away as a result. The tiny smile on his lips was without smirk; innocent and caring in its right. It was the same as he would give his sisters, Mauri and Kururi. Shizuo clutched the limp body of the ' flea ' informant; letting his own tears fall.

"Dammit... Izaya..."

He knew he was guilty. He knew he would be in the worst of trouble. But he didn't care at the moment.

"Izayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" The familiar shout didn't register with the townspeople over the city. But people who knew Shizuo and Izaya knew full well that wasn't his normal scream of his name. It sounded... Heartbroken; if even miserable.

"I... I love you too..." He whispered; before reciting that very same poem once more.

"_The sunshine is bright and warm on my skin... But I'll invite the cold moon again. The moon is cool beauty; while the sun is fiery passion._"

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Please review with comments, questions, and critiques?


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